Bheela’s Blog -125
25 June 2023
Episode 124 Recap
Oshin pleads to Ryuzo to leave Saga, but Ryuzo doesn’t listen. He decides to sleep separately, making his mother happy about his decision. Ms. Kiyo indirectly tells Oshin to go.
Oshin, in the present time, visits Genji’s grave with her grandson Kei. She remembers that in her hard time, she often visited the cemetery. During one of such visits, she hears a commotion. When she gets close to the crowd, she sees Sawa, who tried to commit suicide. Oshin is shocked.
Please click the link below to read the full episode:
https://medium.com/@bheela-wadehra/bheelas-blog-124-e791a9060ac2
Episode 125
FLASHBACK CONTINUES
Oshin, with Yu tied to her back, visits a hut where Sawa lives after she attempts suicide. The place is in shambles. Sawa lights a candle and welcomes Oshin.
‘Thank you for coming to see me so late,’ says Sawa, and she bows in front of Oshin.
‘The moon is out; it is beautiful. I couldn’t come during the day because I had to work. But I wanted to see you,’ Oshin starts a conversation to make Sawa feel at ease.
‘I am sorry to cause you so much worry,’ says Sawa with her eyes on the ground.
Oshin sits on a can and says, ‘What you did wasn’t like you. You gave me so much comfort and support after I came to live with the Tanokuras. I kept telling myself that I could do it, too. Because you had to persevere, too. Then you did this..’ Oshin leaves the sentence half complete.
‘I came here expecting the worst hardship, but,’ Sawa starts sobbing. She gathers herself and continues, ‘Your suffering and mine are different. I could have endured if it was just me. I worked without complaining. But you know my past.’
‘All that doesn’t matter! You are a hard-working wife now, aren’t you?’ consoles Oshin.
‘A harlot is always a harlot. Nothing can change that fact.’
‘You knew that before you came here as a bride. Kozo knew that, too.’
‘But I am not the only one suffering. Kozo, his mother and his family all get ostracized because of me. And the family is always arguing. It is all because of me! Today, after work, the arguments started again over something trivial. Kozo was told that he had wasted all his money in buying me out, and making me his wife. I felt so bad for Kozo, I was wrecking his family. They are arguing because of me.’ Sawa spells out what led to her action. She takes a pause and continues, ‘The next thing I knew, I had jumped into the creek.’
‘I am glad you survived,’ says Oshin.
‘No, I would have been happier dead. I didn’t want to live. No good can come from me being alive. Kozo would have been better without me. I am just bad luck, that is all.’ Sawa starts another spell of sobbing.
‘Don’t say such things. Kozo loves you!’
‘I know that, but the more he protects me, more arguments arise with his family. I told him not to come to see me in this hut. I have already caused him enough shame,’ says Sawa in a flow. She suddenly gets alarmed and realizes that even Oshin should not have come to see her. She say, with a panic in her voice, ‘You shouldn’t be here with me either!’
‘I don’t care if people talk,’ replies Oshin, ‘I don’t plan on staying here much longer. What will you do now?’
‘I have come this far, it is too late. A woman who tries to kill herself can’t stay here in the village. But I have no relatives. I can’t go back to being a harlot.’ Sawa lowers her eyes with hopelessness.
‘Let us go to Tokyo together!’ Oshin’s eyes sparkles as she gives this idea to Sawa. She continues, ‘I think you have reached the limit of your endurance. In that case, it means that you can go anywhere and do anything now!’
‘Oshin Ma'am!’ Sawa panics as she listens to the rebellious idea from Oshin.
‘A chastised bride doesn’t have to stay.’ says Oshin thoughtfully.
‘I have brought shame, it can’t be helped,’ Sawa replies and taking a deep sigh, she continues, ‘and it is nicer here in the hut by myself than in the house.’ Sawa smiles in her miserable state.
She suddenly realizes what Oshin just said and she asks Oshin, ‘Do you really plan to leave the Tanokuras?’
Oshin nods and says, ‘I am waiting for word from Tokyo. I have people there. If I were stuck here with nowhere to go, I might have done what you did, too. It affected me. That is why I invited you to leave with me.’
Sawa is stunned; she tries to interrupt, but Oshin continues, ‘Don’t worry, it will be all right in Tokyo.’ Oshin comes closer to Sawa and clarifies, ‘In Tokyo, nobody will know your past. You could start all over. I have enough money for two train tickets!’ Oshin chirps.
‘You are leaving by yourself?’ Sawa is scared and she asks Oshin.
‘No, with Yu.’ replies Oshin confidently.
‘You can’t do that!’
‘I have given up on my husband. I would feel stronger if you come with me. I will let you know when we leave. When you get better and can work again, we will meet under the big tree at the temple. Tokyo is big and free, one can do anything there! There is no class segregation and one reaps what one plants!’
***
With upbeat thoughts and her plan in place, Oshin returns home that night after meeting with Sawa.
She enters the house quietly. She tries to open the door of her room but it is locked inside.
‘Yu, we are locked out! We will sleep outside tonight!’ she is in good mood and makes a little dance by shaking Yu on her back.
‘Oshin! What is going on?’ Ryuzo comes out holding a lantern. Daigoro follows him. ‘Where were you?’ asks Ryuzo.
‘Ryuzo was worried to death that you were gone!’ says Daigoro, he seems relieved to find Oshin safe.
‘I came to look in on Yu and no one was there. Where did you go?’ he asks Oshin again, raising his voice.
‘I wanted to take a walk under the moon,’ replies Oshin; her head down.
‘What if Yu catches a cold?’ Ryuzo shouts.
‘Never mind! They are both safe!’ says Daigoro, trying to calm Ryuzo, ‘Come on inside. I am so glad, all is well,’ Daigoro has a hearty laugh and walks inside.’
As they all go in, Ms. Kiyo and Atsuko, her daughter, come out.
‘Why didn’t you tell us you were going out?’ shouts Ms. Kiyo looking sternly at Oshin.
‘There is no need for that now,’ Daigoro tries to end the conversation, but Ms. Kiyo doesn’t stop.
‘A fine wife! Going out at night by herself! And you were worried about her for nothing! That is why your wife doesn’t do as you say! Be more firm with her!’
Ms. Kiyo throws her usual insulting comments to Oshin and Ryuzo, and walks off.
‘I am sorry; I didn’t think you would worry so much,’ Oshin says softly to Ryuzo.
‘If you would do something, I would catch its burnt. So, please be more considerate.’ replies Ryuzo rudely and enters his room.
Suddenly he returns and hands a letter to Oshin, saying, ‘It is a letter from Ms. Taka,’
Oshin looks at the letter, and it brings a big smile to her face. She rushes to her room and starts reading with Yu behind her.
Ms. Taka writes,
‘I am still in temporary lodging right now. But I can still do hairdressing, and everything is fine. I don’t know when Tokyo will regain its former self. But more and more houses are being rebuilt. I am sure you are used to things there in Saga by now. But do come back to Tokyo if you feel your need to.’
***
The following morning Oshin revisits the graveyard. She puts a flower on Genji’s headstone and gets up slowly.
She watches as Sawa comes running to Oshin. Oshin hugs Sawa and welcomes her saying, ‘I didn’t expect to see you so soon again!’
‘I go back to work starting today. If I don’t work, I don’t get fed,’ says Sawa, and she strokes Yu’s cheek lovingly.
‘I got a letter from my hair teacher in Tokyo,’ says Oshin excitedly, ‘she has a house, and she is working again! I can be a hairdresser again. We won’t starve.’
‘Then you are still planning to go?’ Sawa can’t believe it.
‘We will go during the mid-day of Equinox. It is a holiday, and we won’t have to work. And with many guests, nobody will miss us. I have checked on the train schedule, too. Let us buy our tickets separately, and we will meet on the train. Here is the money for the ticket,’ Oshin has planned all, and she hands the money to Sawa. She says, ‘Don’t buy one going straight to Tokyo, or people will be suspicious. Understand?
(Here is a reference to celebration of Equinox in Japan, a day when day and night are equal; to know more, please click this link: https://web-japan.org/kidsweb/explore/calendar/march/higan.html)
Sawa is worried; she can’t reciprocate Oshin’s enthusiasm. She says, ‘I didn’t realize you were so serious.’
‘I am as good as dead living here.’
‘You will leave your husband?’ Sawa panics again.
‘It can’t be helped; he is better off here. His mother will take good care of him. People will all be happier without me,’ folding the cash in Sawa’s hands, Oshin continues, ‘So be ready to leave. I don’t have anything to pack. Just don’t let people find out.’
Sawa is speechless; for her, it is a dangerous idea, she protests.
‘I would better go home before they miss me,’ Oshin tells Sawa. Excited by her plan, Oshin runs toward home, leaving Sawa shocked.
Suddenly Oshin feels weak. She sits on the ground on her knees, Yu still on her back. She starts vomiting.
‘Are you feeling sick?’ Sawa comes closer to look at Oshin.
‘It is nothing, I haven’t had my monthly, but it is probably because I am so excited about going to Tokyo. I am fine,’ Oshin says, and she slowly gets up. But she is still weak, so she sits again.
Oshin knows that she is pregnant again. But her resolve to leave remains unchanged. She is sure she cannot bring a new life into this world now. Not here in Saga, anyway.
What will happen now that Oshin is pregnant? Will she still leave for Tokyo with Sawa?
We will know more in the coming episode, number 126, soon!